Holy Row Over Mary And Joseph Bed And Board

We've been holding off commenting on the ridiculous bickering over the distinctly westernised and 21 century depictions of a dejected Joseph and a resigned Mary lying between crisply laundered sheets outside an Auckland church, until now.

The boards were supposed make people think about the 'true' meaning of Christmas (True? let's not go there) but both were vandalised within hours of being erected.

Just how the boards were supposed to spark a debate over the meaning of Christmas  is unclear as the obvious message seemed to be that religious fervor was to blame for raging impotence in men and for sexual frustration in women, who are therefore doomed to an eternity of virginity.

The church's vicar, Archdeacon Glynn Cardy said

"What we're trying to do is to get people to think more about what Christmas is all about. Is it about a spiritual male God sending down sperm so a child would be born, or is it about the power of love in our midst as seen in Jesus?"

What it should have done is spark a debate about the true meaning of the cult of Christianity.

It's largely gone unnoticed during this time of Advent that an 80 year old man has just pleaded guilty in an New Plymouth courtroom to assaulting a child. He said he believed he was following the Bible when he used an length of alkathene pipe to punish a child for stealing $1000 from him. The man said he'd been "seeking to correct him in the manner described in the Bible" but he obviously hadn't got to the passage yet about "suffering the little children".

In a true display of how not to turn the other cheek the church's communication manager (churches have communication managers now) who obviously wasn't feeling the power of love in his midst that day, told press that a video recording of the vandalism was to be passed to police and a complaint laid.

Well, at least something got laid.


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