Migrant's Tales - Tauranga "Not As Described"

Continuing in our series of Migrants' Tales - first hand accounts of the migrant experience of New Zealand, taken from locations around the net.

Today's story is taken from a forum called Expat Blog, in it an young American immigrant says that Tauranga wasn't as advertised and likens the small town to the US Midwest - passive aggressive, superficial, insular and drunk...among other things.

Because of this she/he is seeking links with other expats to form friendships. It's a pretty common story and explains why muti-national groups of expats are so prevalent in New Zealand:

"I recently moved from the US to Tauranga and seek my fellow expats. Where in the US? I've lived all over from New England to CA to Texas. I've traveled a lot for someone barely touching 30 and am very educated and seeking depth in friendships, not this superficial film I'm encountering here in Tauranga.
I will now share my experience so far in Tauranga. This may offend some but I'm sure will resonate strongly with many others.

Tauranga was not as advertised, namely clean, friendly, warm, environmentally-friendly, etc. Tauranga seems a lot like the midwest in the US: Passive-aggressive, superficially polite/friendly, standoffish, drunk, and insular.
I've been to social gatherings with other kiwis, including peers in their late 20s and early 30s in the healthcare field. Despite being outgoing and friendly and trying to talk to people, I was struck with how the native kiwis were so passive-aggressive and impolite, masking it with mask of "yeah yeah" as they continued to just spend time with their other kiwi friends and not let anyone inside their little circles.

Conversations center more around rugby, the weather, complaining about the Council, and drinking than anything of any substance. I don't drink, care for rugby or cricket, or like talking about drinking, rubgy, or cricket. Is it me or are the kiwis so insulated in their little world that they lack the depth that comes with experiencing the suffering of others, from travel, from going through hard times, and from changing one's life? Sitting around a table and hypnotically nodding one's head with a "yeah yeah" is not conversation, does not create strong friendships, and lacks depth.

Where are those people who have traveled, who have dedicated their lives to helping others, who seek to grow and mature and become better human beings, to experience life? I meet kiwis who drudgingly do one's job only to 'enjoy' the sugar-high of a drunken-filled existence on weekends only to repeat the cycle until the next rugby match. Kiwis here in Tauranga say they like the lifestyle, but they certainly don't go out of their way to make recent arrivals feel welcome and enjoy said lifestyle. Look, I don't mind if people sip wine, but I don't like being around people who are drunk or who drink enough to alter their personality.

Kiwis are not friendly, they are polite and insular. Friendly means engaging with someone and sharing one's experiences, helping each other, bonding, learning from one another. Being polite means smiling and nodding so as not to appear rude or standoffish, yet the real goal is to be standoffish.

In my experience, the people I bond with are fellow expats, and they have also experienced the above.

I am frustrated with the native kiwis and seek a community amongst the expats. I believe all us expats suffer some form of the above politeness-plague from the Kiwis. One expat colleague said it took her 4 years for the kiwis to open up to her and to allow her into their networks. 4 years!

I seek the educated expat peer group in Tauranga, those who have depth and insight, those that are seekers, ideally age 20-40ish. If you are out there, reach out. We need to create our community because we can't rely on the Kiwis to have one ready for us or to even let us into theirs."

Today's posts - click here

Migrants’ Tales – Three Weeks In. An American’s First Impressions Of New Zealand

Another in our series of Migrants’ Tales – first hand accounts of the migrant experience in New Zealand, taken from locations around the net.

Today’s tale is taken from the advice and support forum Expatexposed, the only not-for-profit forum where immigrants of all nationalities talk frankly about what it’s really like to work and live in New Zealand, and where none of the posts are moderated or censored.

This story was written by an American whose Kiwi partner that tried to warn that “Kiwis are not cooler versions of Canadians.”

“Thank you for having this most excellent forum. I am thrilled to find it, as I am at my wits end with this place. I have been here two months, and the adjustment is not going well. Hearing other people’s experiences is validating, humorous, and encouraging (in the sense that it isn’t me that is crazy!)

I am not a good writer, so let’s get that out of the way up front. However, I intend on interacting with you wonderful people, and writing is how it must be done in this forum. I am also not technologically gifted. I apologize.

I came to NZ to be with my partner, who is a kiwi, but one one of those kiwis who has been away from NZ enough to be well aware and embarrassed by his fellow countrymen and their “norms”.

He tried to warn me that American ideas of kiwis are off-base, that really they are not a cooler version of Canadians, and that there is no good amount of liberal guilt to counter balance their unabashed consumerism like you might find in progressive communities in the States. I poo-pooed all his warnings, thinking he has been away too long to know, and that he must just not know the right people. He tried to tell me that people here are not interested in politics, the way the world works, how countries interact and effect one another, that all folks here cared about was real estate, looking like rock stars, and whatever is on the 2 television stations they have. He tried to warn me, he did. Well, silly silly me, I didn’t listen, I couldn’t believe it was possible. All the kiwis I have met abroad, well, turns out I must have been projecting a whole lot of coolness onto them that they never rightfully earned.

Without further ado, I would like to mention that I have been an immigrant before, so culture shock is not new to me. But I am surprised at the lack of awareness kiwis have for others and their environment. The lack of common interests has left me longing to interact with others who feel similarly. This is my attempt.

I will just follow up with a list of strange and interesting things I have observed. Some are superficial, some are disturbingly fixed traits that seems to go unquestioned. Bear with me:
1. Bikes. There are few bike lanes and less designated bike parking areas. Motorists are hostile and bikers apparently do not know the rules of biking, hand signals, how to warn they are passing another biker or pedestrian. There are no bike co-ops to tool share. Used bikes are about $200-$300. This is all insanity to me.

2. Heated towel racks in bathrooms. Really? No insulation in housing, but every bathroom has a heated towel rack? Hmm…that seems efficient. Whatever.

3. Race. Huh. And I thought Americans had some issues with race. Wow.

4. Price of rent. I don’t know how much more complacent people can be here. But it seems as though rent is ridiculously high. Weekly? Sigh.

5. Speaking of complacency…my partner was notified he would not be paid on time, but rather a month late because admin wasn’t on time processing paperwork. A month went by, he was notified it would be another two weeks. His co-workers as well. We were told there is no such thing as a labor department (yes, there is).

6. I can only speak of Auckland, but seriously, people here are the most dull but dolled up bunch I have every encountered. I keep looking for the DIY types that I have heard of, you know the “can-do” blah blah blah. Seems to me people are more than happy to pay to look the part than actually DO anything that might mess up their hair.

7. Willful ignorance, grasping at straws. What seems to get to me most often is the pride kiwis have in their country and its accomplishments. Someone told me they flew before the Wright brothers http://www.squidoo.com/rich…-wright-brothers. I have read they think they invented the Flat White (uh, in the US is is called a “latte”, oh, but they just got into coffee, so I guess they just didn’t know it’s already been done) see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_white They publish studies in their newspaper that to an outsider are just complete nonsense..like NZ women are the most sexually experienced? http://www.monstersandcriti…ually-experienced

8. Car culture…I am used to that, but on an island? There must be good public transit…a railroad etc…? Hmmm…not really. Bus fare is outrageous. Train system? Largely dismantled.

9. Pretending to be “green” while consuming relentlessly. I do not see a lot of reducing, or reusing…I do see lots of paid for bins in my neighborhood full of wonderful pieces of usable wood, furniture, and other materials. So sad.

10. People are just outright unfriendly. I have asked my flatmates why this is, and they do not know. Asked if they feel good when they are nice to strangers they say yes. Asked why they do not do it more often, they say that people will think they are crazy. Well, at least that it something we can agree upon.”

Today's posts - click here